Sex and Writer’s Block

I’m ready to face the fact that summer is almost over.  On my way home from work, I walked past a fresh new group of bubbly NYU students on their orientation city-hunt and realized I was not even aware that we had slipped into September.   This summer was filled to the brim with steamy sexual awakenings that brought me closer to embracing my naughty feminine side.

My partner, Sara Vibes and I spent the start of our summer at our first Dark Odyssey: Leather Retreat, an adult summer camp where the grounds are clothing optional, sex can be had outdoors and folks can bond over the fact that we are weird, queer, kinky folks who love geeking out over their sex after having it.  It surely was not for the faint of heart but it brought my girlfriend and I closer together as an open, poly couple.  I learned I love having public sex, experienced fire play for the first time and mastered the art of the double blow job.  The best part was I developed a new-found appreciation  for my partner who allows me to surrender to my submissive side while she fills my body with a mix of pain and pleasure that make my toes curl!

After DO, we spent two weeks trekking around California, landing in the San Francisco Bay Area and driving down the rocky coast to Los Angeles.  In San Francisco,  we attended “The Line Between Art and Sex,” an event hosted by Femina Potens Art Gallery.  The event was held at the Upper Floor of  In a lush, Victorian style room, I watched artists sketch live scenes between queer porn stars, all of which were being filmed and streamed directly to the site. I have to say this was one of the coolest events I have ever been to.  Madison Young did a breath-taking rope scene and won a portrait of a bound statue and a cross stitch of a whip.  We watched Courtney Trouble being flogged by Jack Hammer and a scene with Mikey Mod, our new favorite queer black male porn star.  We spent a few days with the lovely Reid Mihalko.  He was hosting a play party at Fruitopia.  We met a wonderful group of folks from all walks of life,  many whom we have still keep in touch with.  The next coupled of days we laid naked on Reid’s living room, plotting our dreams of being sex educators, traveling the world and being livened by what we do.

Down in LA, we went to the Exxxotica Expo, where we met Jessica Drake, Jenna Haze and Evan Stone.  We reunited with Nina Hartley who interviewed us about the media on SexWise.  Being at a mainstream porn convention is just how you might think it is: heterosexuals, blonde girls in pink and black and a slight layer of grime on top.  Nina Hartley was the most exciting person there, as she often is at most events.  Sara had been communicating with her ever since she came to the Pleasure Chest to teach workshops last summer.  Before we left for home, Nina took us to lunch and regaled us with stories about the industry.

So clearly my summer was choked full of sexual exploratory goodness.  But I was terribly plagued with writer’s block.  Maybe it was because there was no time to develop a poetic thought with all the sex I was having!  Even so, through all of our adventures through California, I managed to attend Voice of Our National Arts Foundation Summer Writing Workshop at the University of San Francisco.  This workshop was specifically for writers of color and I had my poetry manuscript, “A Burning” chewed and spit out in the editing process.  Ever since then, I have barely written a sentence.  Well, until now.

Looking back over the last decade of journals, make shift chapbooks and lost poems, I realize that I have been writing to survive.  I have written through deep depressions, troubling relationships and teenage angst.  I’ve used my words as protection from an unpredictable mother, a confused and confusing father and as a way to navigate this so-called sophisticated adult world.  And as I begin to approach it, I realize I just want to write to LIVE.  I want to write about what I love, and believe me, I love alot of things but I’m discovering I love writing about sex.  Writing and talking openly about sex makes me feel all kinds of dirty and suddenly it has become my way of heightening my sexual intelligence, which is such a turn on.

So stay tuned for me and my partners many exploits through the multifaceted world of Sub/Dom dynamics, polyamory, sex toys, nakedness and all around delicious goodness.  I’ll be posting frequently and look forward to hearing your comments while I fuck away this dreaded writers block!


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