End Of/Beginning Of… A New Year


The Workshop

Sara Vibes and I taught our first workshop at Just Play’s Weekend of Play for Women and Transfolks at Playhouse in Baltimore.  We taught a workshop entitled “A Word to the Thick Soul Sista: Strap-on Sex for Bigger Bodies”.  This workshop focused on choosing strap-ons that are comfortable for bigger bodies, products that enhance strap-on sex and a live demo to demonstrates various pleasurable positions.  We were both nervous and excited yet ready to inform.  Vibe’s nervousness translated into shtick and we laughed as we slowly moved through the class.  I assisted in only a clincher and reassured her that everyone was just looking forward to watching us have sex! 🙂

The workshop made me realize that we have acquired so many sex toys (I believe Vibes might own almost 20 dildos) and have much to share with others about the many complimentary products we use.  The highlight of our class was introducing the strap-on to a woman who had never tried one before and wanted to incorporate it in her job as a sex worker.  After the workshop, Vibes fitted her in her strap-on (while I was helping another audience member “try out” a dildo of her interest…wink wink smile) and before we could say goodbye, she had ran out to Sugar the local sex toy shop, to buy her first strap-on and books on anal sex.  That moment made the whole class worth it.

Overall, we received great responses from the audience, including a little bit of moaning at the site of our demo and I had a lot of fun.  Teaching with my partner is yet another way for us to sharpen our communication skills and to make our mark in the queer and sex educator community.  We certainly would love to teach more workshops again in the future (we’ve been discussing teaching anal sex workshops and communication workshops for poly couples).

If you or your organization is interested in having two queer brown girls teach at an upcoming event, feel free to contact me.

The Porn Convention

In the early part of November, Vibes, a friend and I attended the Exxotica Expo in New Jersey aka a mainstream porn convention.  If you’ve never been to a porn convention, it’s the most interesting social experiment ever!  Porn expos are filled with the brim with socially awkward men barely smiling in photographs with porn stars, tiny woman dancing around in pink and black/blue and black with bored expressions on their faces and hundreds of vendors.  We mostly went to spent time with Nina Hartley who is continuing to be such a wonderful friend and support in learning about the porn community.  She had an advice panel at the convention and some how managed to find a way to make-out with Vibes on stage.  Being the wifey of a Star Fucker is nothing short of an exciting, glamourous life…lol.  We also met some amazing people in the business:  Lexington Steele, Pinky, Sean Michaels (who was my absolute favorite and such a gentleman), Mr.Marcus, Sunny Lane and from very far away, Ron Jeremy.

Attending this event is yet another reminder of how the porn industry is so racist and sexist and completely constructed for men’s pleasure.  Watching porn and knowing that I will not at all be represented as a queer woman is a totally downer.  I admire the folks in the queer porn industry for keeping porn approachable for people of all body types and gender representations.  This is why I am now a reviewer for the CrashPadSeries, some the top queer porn out there.  Every week, I will be reviewing some content on the site and writing (if I don’t pass out first from the extreme hotness that is a combination of people I know, like Jiz Lee, Syd and Mickey Mod….sigh)  So, stay tuned for my reviews on my blog as well as other sites.

Also, if you are a fan of Nina Hartley, you may have heard she is having surgery in a few months to have fibroids removed.  A fund has been started for her to insure she is financially supported during her recovering.  If you are interested in donating any amount to the fund, donate at http://www.giveforward.com/giveitawayfornina.


So I am not much for making New Years resolutions but I am determined to step into myself more as a writer and an artist this coming year.  Next week, I start attending a writing workshop for Women of Color, which I am really excited and nervous about.  I think it will be a great opportunity to receive feedback on my work and write alongside women who have had similar experiences as well as publish my work in their upcoming “Boundaries and Bounders” Anthology.  I am continuing to write for Fearless Press, a web magazine with a collection of articles on relationships, sexuality, art, culture, kink, etc.  Please check out my upcoming article “Taking Sarah Sloane’s Advice” in the Indigo’s Poly Beginnings column as well as articles from other awesome contributors.

I think I might also try writing (and maybe submitting) some lesbian/queer erotica.  I was inspired by a reading for the release of Kathleen Warnock’s “Best Lesbian Erotica 2011” a book chalked full of yummy erotic writing.  Vibes and I went to support our friend Kiki DeLovely and was surprised to hear steamy stories from Xan West and Sinclair Sexsmith of Sugarbutch Chronicles.  So I thought to myself, I like sex and I like to write about it.  Maybe I should give it try!  Keep reading and maybe you’ll be intrigued by the tasty details.

I want to wish a Happy New Year to everyone reading.  Thanks for reading my blog.  Please continue to talk about sex and sexuality.  Lets start a revolution of sexual freedom for all this year.  Peace!


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