Journey of a Sash Widow: What happens after your girlfriend becomes IMsL 2011

Your life explodes!  That’s what happens when your girlfriend wins International Ms Leather 2011.

I am proud to say that my lovely girlfriend and partner in crime, Sara Vibes, won International Ms Leather 2011!  I cannot explain how excited and moved I was to hear Sara’s name formally announced on the IMsL stage and see Mollena Williams, IMsL 2010, place her in the one of a kind IMsL 2011 sash.  I could literally feel the utmost love, compassion coming from my chest as I watched all her worry, hard work and struggle pay off.   She won…and she had six weeks to pull it off!  My 22-year-old, black, bigger bodied, poly, kinky, Jewish adopted girlfriend will be representing the leather community for the next year!  We never in our wildest dreams imagined we would make it…

and it wasn’t easy!  If you would like to read about our experience of running, read my new article on Fearless Press, “From Pageant Mom to Handler to Sash Widow: Being the Girlfriend of International Ms Leather 2011” highlighting all my service struggles and delight over the IMsL weekend.  I’ll be posting about my experience as service bottom in training and handler, so check out my “Indigo’s Poly Beginnings” column.

So the life explosion…Never did I think I would refer to our calendar and “to do” lists as much as I have since we brought home the gold.  Our lives are now about teaching workshops, scheduling appearances, planning for East Coast travel and building a winning year alongside the International Ms Bootblack, kd Diamond.  Sara has intentions of raising funds to make the Leather Archives and Museum (a library, museum and archive of collections on leather and alternative lifestyles) accessible to the physically, visually and hearing impaired and establishing herself as an educator in the community.  And as this partner and handler, I am already feeling the excitement and exhaustion setting in.

In addition to managing the IMsL year, we are also maintaining our day to day lives.  Sara and I just moved into a new apartment with our roommate, Sara’s cousin and four cats and we are slowly adjusting.  Now that the IMsL weekend is over, we are back to the daily routine and fighting off the urges to drop.  But our love is strong and we always manage to come out on the other side.  One of the hardest things about Sara winning was hearing the stories of couples who have broken up as a result of a title run.  I remember being an emotional mess the moment Sara won.  I was crying hysterically with joy and relief and several people warned me about watching over our relationship and making sure this year doesn’t break us up.  I was a little shocked…we just worked so hard for this, how could such an amazing victory break us apart?

Sara stood with me backstage after the contest, looking amazing in her new sash and pointed something out to me.  “This sash has a year.  Our love does not!” she said, “Besides, look at all the shit we have been through.  This is actually a good thing!”  And she is right!  We have been through it all: breakups, cheating, a long distance relationship, monogamy (for a brief period in time), adopting animals, moving and the list goes on. So we are creating this year as the opportunity to get closer, to strengthen our D/s relationship and take on the young, poly, leather, kinky world.

What’s next for us?  This weekend we will be at Queer Play Con in Hartford, Connecticut for some fun and play.   I am going to assume it will be as hot and awesome as Queer Invasion, a play event we went to last year that was literally too hot for words so I never blogged about it!  Then Sara and I are off to International Mr. Leather in Chicago.  It will be a busy weekend, as we honor Tyler McCormick, International Mr. Leather 2010, welcome “A Room of Her Own” exhibit to the Leather Archives and Museum and celebrate the new International Mr. Leather.

We will be driving down to Chicago and are still looking for housing between May 24th and June 3rdIf you or someone you know is active in the leather community and willing to host this year’s International Ms Leather, Sara Vibes and her loving girlfriend (me!), please feel free to contact me at a young 536 at gmail dot com.  Show your love and support by putting a solid roof over our kinky heads!

Also, I’m excited to say that my attempts at writing erotica have paid off!  I am a featured contributor in this month Issue #2 of Salacious Magazine, a queer feminist magazine created by the wonderful IMsBB 2011, kd Diamond!  I am so happy to have the opportunity to publish all my naughty explodes with my friends and my lady, so please check out kd’s site and order a copy.  Check out a preview of my smut on the “Indigos Smut” page…you will not be disappointed.

My journey as partner, handler and sash widow will be a long and exciting one.   I am looking forward to sharing that on-going journey here on Indigo’s Theory.



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