It’s been quit a busy year. Life has been packed full with travel for IMsL and months of renovating my home with the lovely Sara Vibes. Growing up is scary but I’ve learned to return to my original geeky comforts: books and writing.
As I work to complete a queer erotic memoir, I’m thirsty for books that stimulate both my mind and my loins. There is nothing more relaxing and titillating than reading a well written book about sex, politics and all things kinky. I treated myself to a tall stack of books that would satisfy my inner sex geek and came across Rachel Kramer Bussel’s “Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today’s Sexual Culture”, introduced by Susie Bright (my stack of books also happened to include Susie Bright’s memoir “Big Sex, Little Death” – I was very excited for bedtime reading!)
I was immediately pleased with the variety of writing and quickly found my favorites. Susie Bright’s essay, “Why Lying About Monogamy Matters” was a brilliant rebuttal to New York Times Op-ed columnist Ross Douthat article on birth control and abortion, yet another opinion piece written by a man speaking on behalf of woman’s rights and glorifying monogamy as the American way. Sometimes I think I’m in a time portal when I turn on the news – listening to male politicians continue to argue over whether woman should have access to contraception and abortions. It’s even more frightening to hear politician’s religious convictions slip into their decision-making. Susie Bright’s essay made me smile. It reminded that it is human nature to explore sexually and desire sexual variety:
“Sexual self-knowledge is a huge part – perhaps the biggest part – of growing up. Like taking your first steps, or speaking your first words, you gain enormous intelligence and independence ever time you figure out another piece. You fall down and cry sometimes, but you can’t wait to get back up. To learn that things are not black and white, to hold contradictions, ambiguity, and empathy in your body and mind at the same time: that’s sexual maturity. You don’t achieve it from cutting out paper dolls and keeping your knees crossed.”
Right on, Susie.
Then there is Camille Dodero’s piece “Guys Who Like Fat Chicks”. There was a time in my young adult life, maybe the moment I realized I was of the Fat Girl Tribe, where I took myself out of the attraction pool because I was fat. In my early twenties, I dipped my toes into the deep end when I discovered men who openly loved thick woman (and big woman who loved other big woman, of course). Dodero’s article demystified the myths about men who love fat chicks and honestly, I loved the literal rally cry for men desiring thunder thighs and big breasts. I also loved thinking of my body, that sometimes stands out like a sore thumb, as something desired.
With my recent move back into the West Village with Sara, I loved Abby Tallmer’s “Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture” – a brief tale of a girls exploration through gay male’s leather culture and the end of a rich queer history. I could certainly relate being in so many gay men’s leather spaces as an IMsL wife. New York’s Eagle Bar and the Lesbian Sex Mafia have become familiar places and to read the gay history of the place I live reminds me to continue to create space for leather woman.
This book is a great read. If you’re a sex geek like me, you will definitely want to wrap your mind and body around this steamy, informative text! Pick up a copy at Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Best-Sex-Writing-2012-Culture/dp/1573447595